her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
