she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
