His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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