so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
