That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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