FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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