in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize