Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I need a beard to bite.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
