also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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