I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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