Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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