dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Congratulations! We have a period
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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