Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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