Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
