17 year olds will be the death of me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
