I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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