nut hugger
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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