he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
