So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
