if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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