i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
