I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
