He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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