Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
These tits shall not be calmed
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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