just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
