Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
