If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
