just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
