Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
