Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
