...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So much Jack, so little girl.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
