I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
