she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize