just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
