peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
