Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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