Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
