Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize