Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
