You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
