went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
whose ass print is on the piano?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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