For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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