I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
