we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Farmville is her only friend.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
