I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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