I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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