we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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