Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i think my cat just said my name.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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