i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
