I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
