he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
