Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
