the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
do nipples grow back?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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