I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
