OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Randomize
